Purshottam Kallupatti Gopalkrishna is a very adorable and at times an enigmatic character. Over a period of time, people around him who were unable to remember or pronounce his long name, had shortened it to ‘P K’. The name suited him.
Having a lot of time on hand due to the Covid lockdown, I called up P K after many years and held a long conversation about ‘yey’ ‘wo’ and all those things. He loves to talk and has the unique ability of narrating incidents and anecdotes with relish.
Pleasantries over, we immediately focused on the situation at hand – the Covid Lockdown (CLD). P K sounded terribly angry and ruffled, which was alien to his nature. I prodded him a little bit and he let the cat out of the bag. In a very low voice he whispered “This damn CLD has made elbow bending very difficult. Added to that I am under constant supervision by the LOH”.
I could well imagine his plight.
To understand P K, it’s essential to go back in time and register some of the land mark events which have sculpted his life.
Many eons ago he was as free as the proverbial bird. The LOH was busy working in an upmarket studio during the day, leaving P K with ample opportunity to fly away and indulge in a bit of tippling in his favourite club, meet other guzzlers, ventilate on subjects on national security and tuck in the choicest of meats. The LOH is a strict vegetarian. Over a period of time, he had instinctively developed the ability to fly back to his nest like a homing pigeon with enough time to sleep off the forenoon of indulgence before the appearance of the LOH. He would be as fresh as a D to welcome the LOH, prepare a cup of hot coffee, enquire about her work and generally indulge in a measure of good husbanding. This Foot Loose and Fancy Free attitude had given him a mischievous smile and a bit of shine to his gleaming skin. He was the object of all envy. He truly led a very balanced life.
All of a sudden his halcyon days ended. The LOH having toiled all her life decided to call it a day and stay at home to take up her wifely duties. This move caught P K completely off guard. His LOH occupying the nest 24/7 was fraught with danger. Suddenly he felt weak in the knees and started to tremble, beads of sweat started to form on his broad forehead, he became breathless and started to cough. If this had happened today, P K would have been immediately quarantined in a Covid hospital
The following Friday,as P K was soaping himself in the bathroom, the bell rang. It was half past ten and the LOH was engrossed in Agatha Christie’s “Man in the Brown Suit”. The bell rang just at the point where the main character in the mystery Anne, notices a thin man on the platform reeking of mothballs, lose his balance and get electrocuted on the rails. The bell ringing incessantly totally discomposed the LOH.
P K’s partner in pub hopping – Colonel Philip Doresami from the Madras Regiment also known as Daru for short (a terrible coincidence though) stood pale faced in front of the LOH. Seeing her at home so unexpectedly, totally unnerved this brave veteran of many battles. He was ushered into the house by the LOH and asked to be seated.
She said “Pleasure to see you after so long. What brings you here?”
Daru was a God fearing Christian, never lied, went to church often, read the Bible regularly and was a bachelor to boot. Being free from any shackles and chains ,which normally entangle the married kind, he was always forthcoming in his talk. Even before the cop, sorry the LOH, intensified the interrogation, Daru spilt the beans. He was an ideal witness for the prosecution. Before long Daru had unburdened himself and divulged a load of volatile and actionable intelligence to the enemy camp. Frequency of visits to the club, duration, choice of elixir, the many indulgences and other gory details.
As I think it’s not ethical to write any more about this episode, I won’t. It’s best left to historians and grave diggers.
During the ensuing period, P K had kept a low profile and worked hard to impress the LOH. Time is a great healer.The LOH mellowed and appeared to be giving a second chance to the injured party.
In the meantime, P K put all the six components of his mental faculties in an overdrive. In his younger days he was well known in the military circles for his ability to strategize.
One morning he decided to accompany the LOH on her weekly visit to the nearby temple. This move surprised her but inwardly it made her as happy as a L. During their walk back, P K suggested that LOH should invite her mother and sister to come and stay with them. The idea was a stroke of genius. The LOH accepted the offer very willingly. LOH, as they say, went overboard looking after her kith and kin. She devoted less and less time in chaperoning P K. This gave him multiple escape options. He was very pleased with himself indeed.
When his benefactors returned to their native place, P K came up with yet another ingenious stratagem. He told the LOH that they were being labelled as unsociable in their community. With a very calm and convincing demeanour, he suggested to the LOH, “Now that you have stopped working, we should mingle a bit and catch up with our friends”. Weekends at the house were filled with the sounds of unadulterated merriment and the unmistakable sound of popping soda bottles. Friends invited them in return and this social ping pong kept P K very contented.
Now you will understand why this CLD has brought poor P K nothing but misery and a yearning for what could’ve been.
Captain's Corner 